Viva la Cube.

Al Gore has invented and built a time machine. It runs on shredded paperwork.

Following is an excerpt from an interview he gave The People's Cube.

"So what exactly can you do to correct our history?"
"We can enhance national security."
"How?"
"By going back in time, don't you see?"
"You mean, everybody? So the terrorists can't find us?"
"That's as good a plan as any. Will require a lot of shredded paperwork, though."
"I see. Would it be possible, perhaps, to go back in time and locate certain documents pertaining to your Administration's handling of national security, and shred them before they become classified?"
"I believe Sandy Berger took care of that already. Only he traveled in time manually, so to speak, with a pair of socks and scissors," the inventor laughed, bringing much needed comic relief to the serious discussion.

.....

"How exactly is your time machine supposed to advance human progress?"
"Well, I don't know... I suppose I can bring Karl Marx to modern-day America and have him sort out Bush's tax cuts and social security reform."
"Is that really possible?"
"Don't question Karl Marx, young man. His theory is infallible. It is us who fail to implement it correctly due to our sinful, greedy human nature aggravated by conservative Republican policies."
"I would never question Marx, sir. I was just asking if you could really revive Marx and bring him to us."
"Absolutely. The other day I time-traveled to Moscow and revived Lenin."
"You did what?"
"It was a scientific experiment. History will thank me for that."
"Did you bring him to Washington?"
"I didn't. The man is a maniac. Just out of Mausoleum and he's already posing for cameras and petting children. The next minute he sees a Pierre Cardin store on Red Square and starts agitating from the balcony, ordering the proletarians to loot the looters and burn down the mall. Washington? You'd think one Al Sharpton is enough, thank you very much."

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