Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Big Brother

// begin BB6praise.cpp

Big Brother is awesome. Like, really. If you have even a remote interest in psychology, sociology, small group dynamics, or anything of the sort... it's your show. Seriously, think of how cool of an experiment it is to lock 15 people inside a house with absolutely nothing to do except plot and scheme against each other.

And lest you be the cynic and give me the "it's all staged" nonsense, I beg to differ. I (somewhat shamefully) subscribe to the live feeds, and have been watching them all season. This is the one reality show on television show where the producers refrain from poking or prodding. They have to. It would ruin the dynamic of the show. Sure there are competitions and confessional interviews, but those events quickly become regular and routine to the players.

No, this show is all about the wheelings and dealings of humans driven by an insatiable desire for victory. All the alliances, the backstabbing, the romance, and the intrigue. It's like 16th Century Europe with hotter chicks. And better weather. Or something. This season has almost run its course, but Tito and I are gooing to rent past seasons soon if you want to watch them with us.

Oh wait, none of you live in Houston. Fuck you guys. Just kidding.

// end BB6praise.cpp

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


So I went to HEB to buy beer yesterday. I had had sort of a rough one, so I was on a straight shot for the Dogfish Brown, when all of a sudden... miracle of miracles! I found an entire, previously undiscovered beer section! It was the ale group, and they were on an unrefridgerated corner. There was Full Sail, Speckled Hen, and even Shife's Lagunitas (just the IPA though), to name just a few. To tell you the truth, I was beginning to dread the booze review because all I had left to try in the refridgerated aisle were shitty German and Italian beers, but this has rejuvenated my zeal. This Thursday is going to be great.

And now for your jumping pleasure...

Because I am an aficionado of both the Itunes and math varieties, this article made me weep with joy. That this person actually took the time and the effort to undertake such a useful experiment and analysis is a testament to the inherent goodness of man. To give away the punchline, use the five star rating liberally if you really want to hear your favorite songs.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Monday... back to the grindstone.

  • Dude, this story is fucking great. Talk about a field day for the Texan reporters covering the action. And how cool is it that by checking the killer's facebook profile, I can find out that I am exactly 2 degrees of separation from a murderer? Or that he's a big time mobster-wannabe tool? I'll tell you: it's very cool.

  • I ordered a movie from Amazon called Strings, and it came in on Friday. It is amazing. So amazing that I have watched it three times since then. This was a total blind purchase, but I saw it on a list of new releases for August, read the description, and knew it would be money. Think Dark Crystal meets Hamlet. Yes, Dark Crystal... because the entire movie is one big puppet show (hence the name)! The genius stroke, I think, is that the screenwriters - in quintessential post-modernist fashion - chose to completely douse the story in self-reflexivity (e.g. the puppets are aware of their strings). This softly understated inclusion instantly poses an overwhelming volume of deep and meaningful questions to the viewer regarding the nature of humanity, the essence of being, etc. I could rave for hours about this one, but I'll just say do yourself a favor and find this movie.

  • Hey, what did I tell you about those Hawaiian kids?

  • *Now, a Special Report from Captain Obvious*
    It fucking sucks to live in New Orleans right now.

  • And finally... I get a boner every time I see the commercial for the College Gameday Kickoff Spectacular, Start the Season Off With the Biggest of Bangs Show. I'm talking pulsing, massive member style. I even downloaded the Big and Rich song they play during it about "coming to your city," and have had it on repeat in Itunes for about a week now. I can't even believe how close we are to game time. I do sort of almost feel sorry for U-La-La, because first they're going to get all tropical stormed to fuck, and then we're going to have to move in and stomp the shit out of their poor team. Say a little prayer for the poor guys.

    Aloha means goodbye.

Friday, August 26, 2005


I won't lie. I've been watching the Little League World Series religiously since it started this year. Every game I still get a little pang of resentment, as every team I ever played for when I was a kid managed to suck beyond belief. Well, except for when I was in sixth grade, and my buddy and I snuck our way onto the minor league (full of third and fourth graders) and completely pwned those little shits. I'm talking inside the park home runs every at bat, turning double plays on their asses... ah, but I digress.

So I was thinking, every year during the College World Series selection process we get the inevitable proclamations of "West Coast bias," however founded or unfounded the claim may be. Left Coasters outside of SoCal and AZ say their teams are too spread out, their budgets are too limited, or whatever, so they end up with fewer and worse seeds than say, the South.

Whether you buy into that stuff or not, the fact remains that this year's LLWS Championship is going to be played by 2 very West coast teams - Vista, CA and Ewa Beach, HI. And I'll let you in on a little secret: those Hawaiians are fucking dominant. I'm talking bend you over with your momma watching dominant. And the Californians are no joke either. While we're at it, college teams from out West have been to something like 4 out of the last 5 CWS championships. See a trend?

Draw your own conclusions, I suddenly realized that I was doing nothing but rambling. Sorry about that. I'll try to save face by making this a plug for the Little Leaguers. They really are good, you should check them out Saturday afternoon. That is all.

Thursday, August 25, 2005


I have been/still am on vacation this week. Unfortunately for you, most of it has been spent in San Angelo, so the most exciting thing that happened was I got to watch The Last Starfighter for the 800th time. I'm hitting up the beach today and probably tomorrow. Cross your fingers that something exciting will happen. Otherwise all you'll get to read about is my review of the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit. Fucking Gregory Peck, he's the hoss of all hosses.

Oh, and I just thought of the perfect Halloween costume/setup. It involves three people, and one of them has to have a moustache. Who's in?

P.S. 1 word for you: Demarcus Ware

Friday, August 19, 2005

Friday Booze Review: Boddingtons

With Tito as my wing man, I set out for the bars. Boddingtons was the drink of choice until we arrived at Sherlocks, where they were running the 2.50/pint Newcastle special. After several games of drunken trivia, and unsuccesful attempts to make small talk with the chicks playing darts, we relocated to the stage area to check out the cover band. They fulfilled our very slurred request for Journey, so - needless to say - they were fucking badass. I saw a guy get up and leave not only the bar, but his woman as well, so walked over to offer here a drink and run damage control. Feeling a positive shift in my drunken luck, I went to the bar and ordered three Jack and Cokes: one for her, one for me, and one for Tito. When I brought her drink to her and lowered my ass to sit down I received a very sharp, very terse, "You can't sit down!" Somewhat dumbfounded and with a dropped jaw, I made the 360, making sure everyone else was as shocked as I. She explained further: "I have a customer coming back, you can't sit there!" Slowly, on the walk back to my original table, Tito and I realized her other male friend had just left to go get some cash, so they could consummate their newly formed relationship with fifty bucks and a blowjob. I let her keep the drink, puked in the bathroom, and went home. Always true to form, this morning I awoke in the way only way a true Blackwood can... naked, on my belly, and with my face shoved in a pile of lasagna tinged vomit. God bless you all.

Appearance: 9/10
Taste: 7/10
Enjoyability: 9/10
Overall: 8/10

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Overkill and Sin City

As it turns out, NOFX's "contemporary Johnny Appleseed" really exists. He's going to try and plant as many pot plants as necessary to literally "outgrow the government." Essentially, there will be so many of them that eradication will be impossible. More power to you, buddy. Although somehow I feel his master plan is doomed for failure, it's always good thing to aim high - no pun intended. Also, many thanks to his Pot-TV, which was an invaluable resource during my horticulturalist days.

And in passing... I missed Sin City in theaters, so I bought/watched it last night. Really dug it. Loved the whole film noir on steroids motif. Highly recommended if you're a loser like me and held out on seeing it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Protesting the protesters

Caught this mini op-ed from the Dallas Morning News this morning, and it got me thinking...

If you can afford to skip work for a few weeks to go protest a war, then it's almost certain that your son didn't really join the military because he was desperate for work or a source of income. He joined because he wanted to, even with the knowledge that it was wartime. So, to protest the circumstances of his death now is akin to a mother protesting the Fire Department because her son was killed while fighting a fire. It just makes no sense. A mother is allowed to feel pain for the loss of her son, of course, but she is still responsible for maintaining some semblance of rationality. And rationality in this case dictates that your son knew what he was getting himself into.

I would be a lot more sympathetic with Cindy Sheehan if she was a single mom who raised her kids in the projects of Detroit or something to that effect. In such instances, kids who enlist do so out of financial necessity, lured in by the promises of a paid college tuition and the chance to travel, and for a shot at economic stability. The military focuses its recruiting efforts in poor, urban zones for just this reason. Let these women, whose children are the victims and direct targets of institutional disenfranchisement, speak out. Why are their voices never heard? Oh yeah, becasue they're too busy actually working for a living.

Rough polemic? Possibly. Do I absolutely abhor "poor me" tomfoolery in the face of authentic injustice? A thousand times, yes.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Two things

Regarding statutory rape:

You always have to wonder how these things get started. I can think of a couple of teachers that I would've given anything to hook up with, and somehow this kid actually pulled it off. Was he extra smooth, or was she just that horny? These are things that must be made public.

Regarding Holy Land antics:

To you Israeli "settlers," refusing to leave... build a bridge and get over it. You've been living on someone's lawn for 50 years now, it's time to move on. Besides, it's not as if you're not being reimbursed wayyy more than you should be (courtest good ol' American taxpayer dollar).

To fucking Hamas, I say grow up. You're like the small child who takes pleasure in his sister getting in trouble and being sent to her room. You got your way, justice has been served, so shut the fuck up.

Seriously though, this is a pretty big deal. It is the Holy Land, after all. It's not that I hate to see it ceded to Palestinian rule, I could care less about the politics of the region. It just needs to remain open. Open for tourism, open for legal and legitimate immigration, etc. I don't doubt that the PA has a somewhat level head on its shoulders about that type of thing, but should push come to shove between it and Hamas over power... yeah really bad news for the Strip.

Monday, August 15, 2005

DJ is a hoss

Get excited. Vermeil is drooling. You should be as well.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Gay as AIDS

Stupid NCAA. If they make Florida State change their nickname, we won't be able to lovingly refer to them as the Semen-holes any more. Besides, look how fucking badass that mascot is. And what will happen to the Seminole chop?? Shit, this is getting worse by the minute....

Being politically correct is sooooo GAYYYYY.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Why I love America

Recently ran across a very puzzling little ditty, courtesy Planned Parenthood Golden Gate. They've taken it down from their site a few times, but you can download it here.

awesome movie

I really don't know what to make of it. If its purpose is to propagandize, I can't imagine anyone on the fence who would be swayed to their side after having to sit through what amounts to one ad hominem attack after another.

My guess is that it's more of a for fun type of thing for the "progressive" left, like a sort of inside joke. Because, yes, it is both fun and progressive to (officially, mind you) depict those who disagree with you as simply mindless zombies or self-righteous bastards... and then have them killed. This to say nothing of portraying a man who promotes abstinence as somehow being diametrically opposed to unwanted pregnancies, low cost healthcare, and STD prevention. Moronic, idiotic, and contradictory? To say the least.

I'll just go ahead and say it: Planned Parenthood is seriously fucked up.

Oh yeah, and they've been fucked up for a long time.

Anyhow, watch the movie for yourself and see how America's favorite non-profit amuses itself, God bless 'em.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Life is awesome

Great article by Peter Wood over at National Review. He really nails home the point that the most profound issues posed by evolution - specifically those regarding the emergence of humanity - cannot, and will never be, answered completely by science. "Who are we" and "where did we come from" are without a doubt questions for philosophers and theologians, and should be left primarily to them. Ultimately, any comprehensive answers will address the dignity (or possibly lack lackthereof) of the human person, which is essentially the basis of our civilized existence.

His argument is a little more geared specifically toward addressing the (idiotic) Evolution/Creationsism debate, but in a short amount of space he manages to make you stop and think more than a few times. Highly recommended reading.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Lessons Learned

frank the tank

I'd like to compile a comprehensive list of lessons learned this weekend and/or out of season FBS nominations. Please add away in the comments. I'll start with a few:
  • Big Brother is the shit, and Howie's doppleganger fights in PRIDE.
  • When a gay man tells you something looks fabulous on you, you should buy it.
  • "Rockin' tomato, rockin' tomato...!!!!!" -Richard
  • Hook is a background movie par excellence.
  • Coldplay is better than the Beatles? -Ken
  • KG is hot.
P.S. I love all of you. Like, a lot.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Friday Booze Review: BridgePort ESB

Extremely busy day at work before I head out for the ATX, so here is my aptly short review:

Very good, almost great.

Appearance: 6/10
Taste: 8/10
Enjoyability: 8/10
Overall: 7/10

And for your viewing pleasure, check out the shorts on Mega64. My favorite is River City Ransom, with Tetris a close second.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

My Fridge

I somehow felt that this needed to be seen.

From left to right, top to bottom:

Frank's RedHot sauce
worcestershire sauce
cheddar cheese (expiration date: June 2)
24 oz Budweiser (for the rainy day when I don't actually go to HEB and buy good beer)
bagel and orange (leftover from the weekend of Bass' wedding)
eggs (expiration date: March 16)
cokes (8 out of a 12 pack leftover from the night I decided to drink bourbon and coke, around early summer)

I win.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

'Bout that time

vince and his half-cock throw

The practice schedule is set. I think I'll be in town on the 20th for the scrimmage, I can't wait to see just how disgusting our offensive line looks. Has anyone **cough Richard cough Troy** heard anything about the guys setting up a group for season tickets? I hate to have to play it game by game.

Oh yeah, and also, I heard that Coolio is going to be at Phi Psi on Friday night. Can I get some sort of verification on this?

Okay, back to reading CFN all day long.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The Roids

Just when you think the damn steroid mess has finally cooled down for a little while, something like this happens. Oh, Raffy... I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about steroid use by professional athletes. On the one hand, I recognize that they get paid to be the best and perform, and if they want to take the risks involved with 'roids then so be it. But on the other (possibly heavier) hand, I will always be a hopeless Romantic with respect to sports in decades long past. I yearn for the golden ages of yore, when the great athletes dominated their sports with equal parts raw talent and overbearing personality. Alack, never again.

the Raff

Now, we live in an era where the biggest story arc for the past couple of baseball seasons has been fucking steroids. It's tough to imagine a Sportscenter I've seen lately where they're not at least mentioned in passing. And then of course you have the whole Congressional intervention bullshit. What the fuck. Still, regardless of whether or not we agree with their use, we all as fans have the right to enjoy this sport and every sport without having to hear about who's accusing who of what every day of our lives. More importantly, we have the right to enjoy them as a fantastic escape from the bullshit of every day reality, as a place where politics are left behind and we are united in our common passion. To mar sports with public scandal is to steal from the fans that purity that they not only want from sport itself, but that they themselves bring to the game.

At the end of the day, this will all be history - and history is what counts in the long run. That's why it is absolutely essential to acknowledge that a man with 3,000 hits, damn near 600 home runs, and almost 20 years in the league, is a Hall of Famer. Period. No caveat. No asterisk. Period. The sad part is that everyone and their dog, including aforementioned Congress, will get in their say and be able to to take a piece out of Raffy before the day is done. I guess all we can do is hope that he is still standing when the dust clears, and that the league is able to retain some semblance of dignity... for the fans.

Monday, August 01, 2005



I'm not really sure which is more indicative of Democratic stupidity, that Dean was once a strongly backed nominee for President or that the Dems still keep his crazy ass around. The man is a walking cluster-fuck.

In addition to other asinine spout-offs he's made this year, we get this latest gem, in which he blames the Kelo decision on BUSH's Supreme Court and then Republicans in general of jacking from the Social Security fund. Shit, I must've missed that memo that okayed hypocrisy and outright lying. My favorite line: "We are Democrats because we have moral values..."

God bless you, Howie, and the ever-downward spiral of not only yourself, but your party as a whole.

Via Power Line via Instapundit.