Friday, September 07, 2007

Welcome to my world

Right about now, most of you are probabaly selecting your ritual alcoholic Seppuku weapon. Consider yourselves lucky.

Right now, I get to watch this movie with The Buddy:

Because I hate you all, here's my live blog whilst viewing:

Elmo just said both "pee-pee" and "poo-poo" in the same sentence.

Then his dad said the same.

Oh, Gordon's in this one! It just got a little better.

I fucking hate Elmo. He only speaks baby talk, plus he's an idiot. Grover was INFINITELY cooler than Elmo could ever even dream of being.

Oh gravy - they just used this joke: "Hey, does a bear use the potty in the wooods?" Answer: No, but the pope shits in the woods.

Oh, a song, and here are a few of the choicer lyrics:

pee pee
tinkle
widdle
piddle
wee wee
urinate

doo
poo pah
poo poo
poopie
dookie
caca
doodie
woo woo

That's what the kids are calling #1 and #2 these days.

Grover!!! Grover's in this one!! Grover has "to go!"

Whoever does Grover's voice these days is awful; Frank Oz, he is not.

There's a big purple King Kong-ish character on the screen. "Monkey pee, monkey doo" was the punchline of his segment.

Grover's back. Man his voiceover blizows. Now he's dueting with Elmo. Fuck me.

--------------

This is killing me. Elliot stopped caring, thank Christ.

A few closing thoughts:

My hatred of Elmo knows no bounds. If you want to talk about the dumbing down of America's children, let us begin our discussion with the the little red abortion that is now the fucking star of America's preeminent children's educational television program, and who is ubiquitous on toy shelves in every store in the country.

Witness Grover and Forgetful Jones, my favorite Sesame Street characters ever.





They're pretty much the anti-Elmos.

Frank Oz is the obvious voice of Grover, and we're all familiar with his work. If you are a Muppet aficionado, you will probably recognize Richard Hunt as the voice of Forgetful Jones; Hunt's other well known characters included Sweetums, Scooter, Junior Gorg, Statler, and Beaker. He was legendary.

Elliot wants to ride his bike. Time to go outside.

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1 Comments:

At 5:58 PM, September 07, 2007, Blogger Tito said...

Admit it...you miss me.

 

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