Friday, March 24, 2006

Texas Texas, yeehaw!

HOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooly SHIT! Today is probably the greatest day of my life. Here are the good things that have happened since last night:

  1. Duke lost.
  2. JJ Redick cried. On national television.
  3. Lamarcus had a 26 point night.
  4. Paulino hit the three point shot of his life.
  5. The thrill of victory - and last second victory, at that.
  6. Gonzaga lost.
  7. Adam Morrison cried. On national television.
  8. I got tanked.
  9. Bonuses were announced this morning.
  10. It's final. The TV will be here on April 7.
  11. And I'm getting a new receiver. That's right, count 'em - 3 HDMI inputs.

I'm still basking in the afterglow of Paulino's money shot. Talk about clutch fucking city.

Oh yeah, plus the TV may or may not be big. I'm never leaving the house again.

For today's "Fun With YouTube", watch this guy play Quake 3 on a fooking sweet setup. Richard, get everyone's computer monitors, set stack them in the house, and play Mario Kart like this. I dare you.

Happy weekend!

Monday, March 20, 2006


So I guess a legitimate question now is whether or not we can count the 2005 baseball championship as part of the Triple Crown after we win the basketball national championship. Football was the 05-06 season, as basketball will be, so shouldn't baseball have to be 06 for it to comprise a true trifecta? Just wondering.

This is a pretty cool site. It lets you track your progress against various "lists of bests." Wanna try and make it through the AFI's 100 Greatest American Movies of All Time? Or sample Pitchfork's Top 100 Albums of the 1990s? Read every Hugo Award winner, ever? Okay, it may be that I am just a listophile, but I think it is way awesome.

P.S. Blogger wouldn't upload my pictures today. Unlucky you, because I had an awesome one, too.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Friday Fun with YouTube - Synchronicity

Because Fridays generally suck on here anyway, from now on they will be designated thematic YouTube day. To kick things off, let's look at all things synchronic.

First, the obvious. I have Virgil to thank for introducing me to this as a pledge ("make sure it's the clamshell edition"), but I've seen it so many times by now that The Dark Side of the Rainbow has become an integral part of my existence. I am personally of the opinion that the album was not recorded to purposefully sync up with the movie. It is far too perfect in itself to have been written to revolve around something else.

If you've never seen it, or have no idea what I'm talking about, watch an iteration now on YouTube. Of course, for maximum effect you should set it up manually, crank the volume, and then burn through no fewer than two bowls per song. Just wait until you get to "The Great Gig in the Sky"...

Many people, after watching Dark Side of the Rainbow, decided to look for the same phenomenon in other movie/album combinations. I've heard of several, but the only one I've ever actually tried is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and Rush's "2112." You start the album when Wonka exits the factory to greet the Golden Ticket holders. In all honesty, I don't remember a lot of the detail that is focused when you sync these two up, except that "2112" is a fucking badass album to listen to whilst stoned out of your gourd, and that you may or may not have a seizure when Wonka takes his ferry down the chocolate river.

YouTube doesn't have a synched version for us to watch, but they do have Neil Peart performing an amazing drum solo. I guess the real question is: does he even compare to Portnoy? Probably not. (Personal aside, I've seen Dream Theater live - it was completely life changing.)

Other alleged syncs: The Pink Floyd song "Echoes" with 2001: A Space Oddysey, the Rushian Matrix, various Floyd, Beatles, Radiohead, and countless others.

For something a little more lighthearted, and that will possibly convince you that perhaps synchronicities really are random, make sure you watch Barney does Tupac. It's more than a little amusing.

And of course, Synchronicity II.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Madness Begins

Someone once told me that I am close-minded because I fail to acknowledge the existence of multiple truths. If someone can explain to me the workings of a universe in which truth is subjective, I will suck your cock. Honestly.


This is the first year the NCAA is streaming all the games online for free. I'm not telling you where to go to sign up for them or watch them though, because I think they probably budgeted way too little bandwidth for this project.

Gotta go get my spot in line.

A&M to the Sweet 16. What's your dark horse?

Monday, March 13, 2006

"But the one variable they forgot was Love."

Tito set up a tournament pick'em on Yahoo. So far only 2 of you have signed up. That is unacceptable. If you need the group #/password, IM him or email me.


The best part of a totally kick-ass weekend? Giz's gift to us: Brokeback to the Future. I've watched it about 20 times this morning since I got in to work. Fantastic.

While I was looking for more BTTF stuff on YouTube, I found this: "Secrets of Back to the Future," hosted by everyone's favorite, Kirk Cameron. Being reminded of his existence got me wondering... Who has degenerated further? Tom Cruise for drinking the Scientology Kool-Aid, or Kirk Cameron for jumping off the deep end into the cespool of Tim LaHaye dispensationalism.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Friday craziness

Okay, I've been saving these for you for today, because I know you will appreciate them more on a Friday. This is some pretty damn good stuff. Enjoy.

Eat a dick.

No, really. Eat a dick. Check out the HONKER they bring out at the end. Fuckin' Chinese.

In case you live under a rock and haven't seen/heard of it, here is the live action Simpsons intro. It was produced by Sky One as a promo for the upcoming seventeenth season in the UK. Pretty damn cool, although I wish they would've let Marge drive on the left side, where she belongs.

Oh good grief. In an SIOC article, this chick is defending the female population of Duke, claiming they're not all ugly. Unfortunately for her, the editor decided to include a picture of her and her friends with her story. The irony is unbearable.

Apparently I never got the memo: there are actual leagues for Rock, Paper, Scissors. Why is this even remotely interesting? Because it's fucking madness. See if this makes any sense at all. In 1995, a pair of Canadian brothers stumbled upon and restarted a dormant, centuries-old RPS club. Thus, the World RPS Society was formed. It represents everything conservative, intellectual, and establishment about the game.

Enter the USARPS League, still in its infancy, conceived by a couple of Hollywood televesion producers. They are the yin to the WRPSS' yang - loud, lawless, and rock and roll. They've already scored a Bud Light sponsorship, and their website (which is hilarious in itself) has a video featuring the "Girls of RPS." They've publicly challenged the World Society to a girls-only tournament. Balls to the wall.

It is blowing my mind even thinking about it.

Sometimes I think the world is a shitty place, but then something like this shows up and offers me a renewed since of hope for all mankind. I mean, shit, just look at the World Society's page to see what I mean. Fuckin' A.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

“Yeah... the DARPA Chief died of a heart attack. I don’t know what happened. Metal Gear. Whatever. Meryl’s hot.”

If you played Metal Gear Solid ten times through, or even just once, I guarantee that you will thoroughly enjoy this. If you didn't, sorry.

He's damned

You've heard about it all over sports radio and ESPN this week, but in case you haven't actually read the Sports Illustrated article that blew the whole Barry Bonds fiasco wide open, here it is.

The league fucked itself during the '98 season. When they let McGwire and Sosa slug it out for the single season record, whilst both were obviously juiced, they set the entirely wrong precedent of feigning ignorance. Don't ask, don't tell was the undercurrent of the entire season. Bonds was no idiot. He saw what was going on and realized that the only thing that could/would stop him from doping up was himself.

And here we are.

The difference between then and now is that the all time home run record is possibly the greatest in any sport, and is infinitely more important than the one McGwire broke (and Bonds now holds). Single season, schmingle season - this is THE BIG ONE. Though we've known the whole time that if Bonds ever did break it, we would have to mentally asterisk it, the overwhelming volume of clear-cut evidence that has surfaced changes EVERYTHING.

The very last thing the sport of baseball needs is another controversy on the magnitude of Pete Rose. If Bonds is allowed to overtake Hank or even the Babe, it would write scandal not only directly on the pages of history, but on the permanent record books, right there for everyone to see and cringe at forever. Because really, no one will ever be able to even approach breaking it who is clean.

755 - it's a number that deservedly stands alone, untouchable, almost holy, written on the collective sports unconscious. It shouldn't be topped, and in a perfect world, where the integrity of the sport is maintained, never would be.

Selig can't let him play this season.


On a much lighter note, this HAS to be done at one of our home games next season. It's a 21st Century prank, if ever there was one. I nominate Cody.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


I watch American Idol. Only for the chicks, though. These are my favorites:

Becky. She was gone after the first week, but my Lord, was she slutastic. And she has a twin. Holy shit. Watch.

Melissa. You can't really call her hot, because she's not, but she has that kind of skanky cuteness that I always fall for. Too bad she's totally insipid. Watch.

Kellie. She's a straight up idiot, or at least she's having no trouble at all coming off as one, but good gravy. Want to touch the hiney. Definitely my favorite to win it all. Watch.

Ayla. I don't know if it's her mannish features, that she is 17, or is a dykish athlete, but something about this chick gives me a chubby. She absolutely blows at singing, but whatever. Watch.

And Bucky. The guy looks like he's been listening to Skynyrd and huffing paint since he was about 2. I'd probably Brokeback him.

And that's that.

Also in the realm of TV, last night I decided to see if ABC's totally hyped-up ad campaign for Sons and Daughters was justified, and checked out the first two episodes (they ran back to back). I had a major desire to hate the show going in, mostly because I neither need nor want another television show addiction at this point in time, but I have to admit - I really liked it. I don't really watch Scrubs or House, so this is probably going to become my Tuesday night staple.

What is my TV regiment, you ask? Well, well, well...

Sunday (nights - they're all nights). In the Spring and Summer, it's baseball. In the Fall and Winter, football. During the in-between times, wild card - whatever I can find.

Monday. Monday is probably my favorite night. King of Queens is still running solid, and Two and a Half Men is straight up awesome. Of course, these are both trumped by a good game. Hell, anything on the schedule is trumped by a good game, and Monday always has them.

Tuesday. American Idol. Now, Sons & Daughters, I guess. Tuesday has always sucked.

Wednesday. Even though it pisses me off to no end, I can't stop watching Lost. I've watched religiously since the pilot, but of late the producers seem to feel that the audience is not deserving of any substantial payoff regarding plot progression or character development. They know I'll keep tuning in, though, the bastards.

Thursday. I watch Survivor, if it doesn't suck. This season sucks. The real goods are on NBC, though. My Name is Earl and The Office are, without a doubt, the best comedies on any network right now. The Office just oozes irony - I physically can't get enough of it. You know what? Fuck Mondays. Thursdays are my favorite nights.

Friday. Fridays suck nuts. Find a game.

Saturday. Saturdays blow balls. Find a game.

And there you have it. Any show that is worth watching. None of that House, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, CSI crap. That stuff's for losers.

Okay, back to work.


Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Bad News and Good News

Who doesn't remember Game 6 of the 1991 World Series?? It's not my first memory of Kirby Puckett, but it's definitely the defining one in my mind - one of the defining memories of my childhood, for that matter. It's sad when you hear about anyone dying young, but somehow it always hits you a little harder when it's an athlete you grew up with, or one you watched grow up, or both. I can't even imagine what it must've been like when Lou Gehrig passed.

There is no doubt that Puck will be missed.


And the ball is rolling.

Gov. Mike Rounds signed a bill on Monday that would ban all abortions in South Dakota unless a woman's life is in danger. Of course, the aim of the bill is not what it explicitly states, but rather to challenge the Supreme Court on Roe v. Wade. Before its scheduled enactment in July, it will certainly be suspended by a federal judge, and will work its way up the circuit from there. It's SCOTUS or bust for this one.

Many pro-lifers have expressed concern that this is neither the time nor the place for this, the first strike, but truth be told: the grass is on fire. I'm a big Deal or No Deal fan. I think the game translates almost perfectly to the current situation. Given the amount of momentum we have on the pro-life side right now (the banker's offer), should we move now, or take a gamble and wait it out a couple more elections? Obviously, South Dakota - the embodiment of grassroots on this issue - chose "Deal" for all of us, but I'm not complaining. I'm pretty damn excited, to tell you the truth.

All my life, overturning Roe has been... well, what? I don't want to call it a mirage, because that falsely implies futility. I'll call it a goal to reach on the distant, distant horizon. Well, all of a sudden, the horizon has shrunk to five years. Five short ones, and we'll see this ridiculous ruling overturned and the issue of abortion sent back where it belongs: in the hands of the states.

We're close, boys and girls...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Call it a comeback


Beginning tomorrow, I promise.

For now, take pleasure in the Paula Deen Coronary Watch 2006. Good gravy, I love TVgasm.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

This is the best I got

Watch it now.