Blahhrrrr

When I woke up this morning, the little blue light on my Wii was flashing - system update!

I checked on it before I went to work, and, well, zzzZZZ.

Highlights include a clock on the Wii Menu, enhanced search function in the store, and improved mobility around the Message Board.

Gee, this is great.

To be honest, I've been terribly, terribly disappointed with my Wii. Zelda was an engrossing experience, but it was also 25 hours of gameplay that I have no desire to re-live any time soon. I own Wario Ware, and it seems like it would be fun - if only I had three other people to play with me. Resident Evil 4 and Paper Mario interest me, but I can't seem to muster up the will to spend money on either of them at this point.

Every other game is a shitty movie tie-in or something ridiculous like Chicken Shoot or Cooking Mama. I knew the risk of going with Nintendo again was the danger of being oversaturated with "kiddie" titles, but I really had confidence that they would try and push the envelope a little; this was the system that was code named "Revolution" for fuck's sake. It's tough to revolutionize anything if in almost a year of existence, you've failed to release anything that anyone wants to play.

What has disappointed me the most to this point, though, is the shitty, shitty online experience. Especially after spending so much time on Xbox Live, and loving every second of it, the Wii's online functionality is complete and utter shit. First of all, you have to actually know someone - in real life - before you can add them as a friend and before you can game with them. How many 13 year olds does Nintendo think I know? Contrast this to Xbox, or PS3, or any PC gaming experience in which jumping into a random game where you can talk shit to kids you don't know and will never meet is half the fun.

The Wii Virtual Console is the one thing that Nintendo has gotten closest to right so far, and it's still not quite perfect. They've actually released a decent number of games from their older systems, as well as games from the SEGA, Turbo Grafx 16, and NEO GEO systems. Very, very cool. The bad? Games downloaded from the Virtual Console are only playable off the Wii's built-in 512 MB flash memory. Trust me when I say that those N64 games are memory hogs. Sure, you can transfer games to an SD card to make space for new downloads, but who wants to play memory shuffle with a library of 20 or 30 games.

I know, I know - bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan. Hopefully, Mario kart will come out soon, and all my worries will be forgotten.

Oh wait, I still won't have anyone to play with.

Fuck it.

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On the lighter side, here's a little toilet humor. I just went to took a piss; there were two other guys already at urinals. The other two guys are taller than I am. There was still an empty urinal, though, so who would come in next to fill it but the shortest guy on the floor - a little guy named Chuck!

And THAT's how slow of a day it's been, folks.