Harry Potter sucks

Two open letters.

Dear J.K. Rowling,

Please, stop. The world is in enough of an artistic funk as it is. The last thing we need is someone else to cash in on an insubstantial, overrated piece of drivel... SEVEN TIMES. You've proved your point. Children really will read, so long as it's the trendy thing to do. Thank you for that. Now please, throw yourself off a bridge and take the rest of your muggle buddies with you.

Sincerely,

Vince

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Dear Parents of Harry Potter fans and Adults who are Harry Potter fans,

Please, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Stop ranting. Stop raving. Stop celebrating. Stop dressing your children up. Stop allowing them to make asses of themselves for the national media. Make believe is great, but it belongs in the backyard or the playroom, not in public.

Stop trying to tell me that "these books are really good," because they're not. They're garbage. Stop trying to tell me that they're great "if they get kids reading again!" Oh yeah, just like junk food is great if it gets them eating again. Just stop.

Stop pretending you are somehow a literary critic because you've delved into the thematic elements of Harry fucking Potter. Stop calling this the Renaissance of children's literature. Stop dumbing down the world by holding these books as the gold damn standard. In fact, stop dumbing down the world by opening your mouths. Just stop.

Sincerely,

Vince

P.S. Your kids are still idiots.