Riding the Bus

Because I realized that we are less than three months away from Christmas, I put my wishlist on my Blogger profile for your browsing pleasure (the link works now, try again). This way you can get a headstart on your shopping. At this point, I'd rather have a book than a DVD, so keep that in mind whilst picking out my gift. Also, there's lots of really good stuff buried deep in there, so try to make it past page 5 if you can.



Now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about bus etiquette. As you may or may not know, I am a daily participant in the Houston Metro public transportation system. I take the Park and Ride 25 miles every day to downtown, and I love it. God only knows how much it's saved me on gas so far this year, plus it's like a free hour of reading time... but all that's really irrelevant to the topic at hand. Sorry.

Bus etiquette. While I'm sure there's no formal set of bus etiquette a la Beadle's, common sense and social uprightness dictate a certain implied grace that should be practiced on any form of public transportation. Here are a few rules that I consider fairly obvious, which should be publicly enforced at all times:

1. Give up your seat for an elderly person, an infirm person, or a woman. Real quick point of reference: our bus is a charter style. That means all seats face forward, and there is a center aisle with sets of two seats to the right and the left, as such -

SS SS
SS SS
SS SS

I don't know how many times I've been stuck in a window seat, seen everything fill up, and then watched as an old lady boards and has to stand the whole time, while the knucklehead sitting right next to her sits there in oblivious land. This is the the point at which I want to stand up, scream, and pull out my hair in frustration.

2. Turn off your fucking cell phone. People (a significant number) are reading. People (a decent chunk) are trying to nap. People (everyone else) want to enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet after a long day of work. The last thing anyone wants is to get trapped in a confined space listening to your your shitty half of a completely worthless conversation. If it is some sort of emergency and you have to take/make the call, at least make it quick and hushed. Loud, obnoxious banter with your bus buddy is also frowned upon. Seriously, no one gives a shit about your kids.

3. The seats come in pairs for a reason. That reason is not so that you have a place to set your bag/purse/briefcase/laptop/shit. That reason is so that two people can sit down. Put your shit on the floor. When you get into an empty set of seats, move all the way in. This allows someone else to sit. Don't be that jerk that thinks he's too good to have to share with a stranger. If you are that jerk and someone politely asks you to scoot in so that they can also sit, don't act like it's the inconvenience of a lifetime. You're only moving over 15 inches for God's sake.

4. Treat the driver like a human being. He's not your dog. You don't have the right to scold him and rub his face in it when he makes a poo poo.

5. When there is a long line of people waiting to get on, move as far to the back as possible before sitting down. This makes complete logistical and efficiency sense and could shave several minutes off the commute time, but people are too lazy and short-sighted and have too much of an impulse to be the first ones off the bus to actually realize this.

That should do it for now. I have to make.