Deadspin is funny

From Deadspin, regarding Rocky VI:

We're still unclear of the plot of the new movie, though we know Antonio Tarver is playing someone named "Mason Dixon." We were discussing the movie with some friends this weekend, though, and, if this isn't too Simmons of us, we had an idea. We think it should be like Rocky IV, except instead of a Russian foe, it should be a fundamentalist Muslim. (Think a 76 percent less racist Glass Tiger.) At the end, when Rocky wins, he gives the exact same speech he did at the end of that movie, except it's broadcast over Al-Jazeera. World peace results.

Link.

Here is an alternate storyline. After Rocky IV, the Russians secretly cryogenically froze Ivan Drago. In the near future, his genetic material is used to create an army of super-beings. Vladimir Putin, in a fit of insanity, uses the army of Dragos to invade nearby Turkmenistan, and establishes what becomes the homebase for all evil in the world. The army of Dragos, who are also super-intelligent, devise a new, unimaginable weapon of mass destruction.

This aggression will not stand. Rocky, who himself has benefitted from gene therapy (remember the "brain damage" he was coping with in part V? No more, my friends...) is recruited by the CIA to singlehandedly infiltrate the base, destroy the army of Dragos, and assassinate Putin. He accepts and sets out on his mission, but is almost immediately captured. The sick and twisted Russian gives him a chance at survival, however. If he can defeat the army of Dragos in the ring, one at a time, using only one hand... okay, this is getting out hand.

The new Rocky is going to suck.