Man cannot live on Big Brother and Project Runway alone

We finally made it to the fall. The suck of summer primetime television is no more. Hoo-ray.

For the betterment of mankind, I have decided to let it be known which shows - new and old - would be worth committing to this season. The following is the rundown.

Oh yeah, first, an FYI. Growing up I was always more likely to watch a Matlock rerun than a Mission: Impossible, and the same is still essentially true. As much as people rant and rave about shows like 24, or The Unit, I just don't do the whole techno-action-suspense thing unless it's on the big screen. Sorry.

1. The established.

LOST. Yeah, S3 hasn't even premiered yet, but we all know it is going to kick fucking ass. Even though they have at times failed miserably at progressing a plotline, the writers have definitely managed to build up quite an impressive mythos in just two seasons' worth of material. This is Television 2.0, thriving because of wikis and a wealth of interactive content online.

Two and a Half Men. One of two [true] sit-coms in existence that heterosexual men can actually appreicate (the other being The King of Queens. The circle is now complete as Charlie Sheen actually gets paid to act like himself - an alcoholic womanizer. See, God does have a sense of humor.

The Office. The force is strong with this one, although this season is off to a rocky, and remarkably un-funny, start. I think the writers let the pressure of "kicking it up a notch" get to them; hopefully they will return to form soon. The first two seasons, though? Pure ironic gold.

How I Met Your Mother. Mystery of the universe #2,878,654,182: Do I like this show because I'm gay, or am I gay because I like this show? The band chick from American Pie is annoying as shit, but Doogie Howser is awesome. So there.

Deal or No Deal. "No deal, you fucking retard! What is wrong with you?!? Don't be a fucking pussy! NO DEAL!" I love watching this show.

Boston Legal. Shatner is God.

The incoming.

The Class. Three little words: GAY. AS. AIDS.

Studio 60. I never watched The West Wing, so I don't know what that business is all about, but this show looks like it has potential. At times the all too obvious pontificating has made it difficult for me to suspend my dispbelief, but more often than not I have felt myself being actually entertained. Plus, I really want to make babies with Amanda Peet.

Smith, The Shark, some other shitty show with a movie actor that I can't remember the name of. No, no, and no. Stick to the big screen, boys.

Jericho, Hero, Kidnapped, Six Degrees. ZZZzzz...

I might watch Friday Night Lights to see just how UN-West Texan they actually make it. Or who knows, it may actually be fun. It starts this week as well.

Also coming soon which I will check out is 20 Good Years, starring Mr. Henderson aka John Lithgow. He was pretty funny on that one show where he was the patriarch of an alien family that included as members that freakishly huge chick, that squinty eyed weird guy named French something-or-other, and the kid with the long, soft hair. That means he could be funny in this one, too.

And I'm not watching the new show with Tina Fey. I can't fucking stand Tina Fey.

All in all, it looks like it'll be more of the same as far as TV viewing is concerned. Gravy.