Wednesday, April 27, 2005

We Win

For surely the pornography industry has suffered trying to pawn those stoic saline implants on us as "arousing" or "worthy of spanking off into Kleenex in our desk chairs". I like these cosmetic trends. From Botox, which makes the statement "I'll put botulism in your face." a real joy to FDA approval of silicon-gel implants (mm-mmm silicon-oxygen backbones all up in that bitch), men everywhere rejoice as women empower themselves by giving us hard-ons. Hopefully, before I jump off this mortal coil, brilliant scientists will discover many terminal diseases have the capacity to turn women into Adriana Lima when manipulated, and I can gloriously hump a cornucopia of beautiful women, promising them devotion until the end of their days. At least the obesity rate will go down, and we can get our cookie monster back before they rename Big Bird to BMI-under-25 Bird.

2 Comments:

At 8:52 AM, April 27, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

For some reason, the thought of you "humping a cornucopia" of anything gets me really excited.

 
At 3:47 AM, April 28, 2005, Anonymous bass said...

I disagree with your use of the word "stoic" to describe breast augmentation and prefer more relavent words such as tig or jubilicious

 

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