Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I should rule the world

I've got a master plan I've been working on. It involves my course of action for revitalizing whatever company hires me as its CEO.

First, I would fire every woman over the age of 32 that is not a MILF. They are worthless, and their stupid obsession with wearing socks and tennis shoes over their hose when they have further than 100 yards to walk drives me insane. INSANE. Plus, they're annoying, and talk about lame-ass stuff like their kids and office gossip. Seriously, women are the unskilled laborers of the corporate world. Worthless.

Then who do I replace them with? Hot, young chicks fresh out of school. Preferably without boyfriends. Sure, they are probably equally worthless, but at least they might have sex with me.

That's the plan.

Also, I fell in love with a stripper.


At 3:01 PM, June 20, 2006, Blogger CD said...

Within my first week of work in the real world I realized that Fortune 500 companies hire some of the most worthless people I've ever met.

At first I was mad cause of the trials I had to go through in order to get a real job after graduation.

But now I realize, even as cynical as I am, that even my most miniscule contributions of "work" are 1000 times what these people can offer. Hell, I don't call in sick when I have "sunburn".

At 3:43 PM, June 20, 2006, Blogger Tito said...

I have learned that it is much tougher to get in and get the job than actually lose it or get fired. It's like once your in, you can pretty much do whatever. God bless America!

At 3:46 PM, June 20, 2006, Blogger Tito said...

It would be totally legal to fire those girls under 39 at any time for no reason. May not be the correct thing to do mind you. When an employee hits the big 40 they become a protected class in the workforce under the ADA or Age Discrimination Act. Another fun fact: if you are a white male under 40, you have ZERO rights.

At 4:24 PM, June 20, 2006, Blogger Vince said...

Tito, what are the HR guidelines for hiring 17 year old interns?

At 5:07 PM, June 20, 2006, Blogger Tito said...

only if they are in the crack whore or stripper program. Of course they can earn credit in both programs concurrently.


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