Two local things

Yesterday, the Houston City Council voted 13-2 to extend its indoor smoking ban to virtually all bars.

Fuck that shit.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaaaaaaat shiiiiiiit.

You don't want to smell like an ashtray when you get home at 2:30 in the damn morning? Grow a pair, you fucking pussy. Unless you're sleeping in your fucking clothes, what the fuck does it matter? Besides, that girl you wanna take home and fuck is drunk enough that she doesn't give a rat's fucking ass what the shit you smell like. Fuckface.

Oh, what's that? You're tired of breathing in the toxic fumes of my secondhand smoke? Newsflash, asshole: you live in fucking Houston. Toxic fumes are a part of your existence. Unless you are NOT breathing between the hours of 3 and 7 every evening, I can pretty much guarantee that your pansy ass little lungs are taking way more of a beating from car exhaust and refinery emmissions than from my fucking 15 cigarettes I smoke around you once a week. Shitscum.

Hey, you, slutbag waitress. Yeah, you. Listen to me. You work in a fucking bar. You were well aware of what that would entail when you signed on for the job. Stop pretending that the whole world revolves around your pathetic fucking miserable life and trying to mold it that way. Bar culture is well established and proud, and was getting along just fine until you decided that your fucking health concerns were relevant. Guess what? They're not. Workers' rights my fucking ass. If you don't like secondhand smoke and still wanna work at night, I think Taco C is hiring. Whore.

Fucking dammit cockshit motherassfucker.

Alright, I'm over it.

The other thing is this. Last Friday, Two Gallants played at Walter's on Washington. The place is in a residential area, and there was a noise complaint, so a beat cop showed up to get them to turn down. The details are still in dispute, depending on whose story you hear (obviously), but I think its probably a fair bet that the officer didn't exactly handle the situation diplomatically. A melee ensued, which included multiple taser discharges, and four arrests. Full story.

NOW, all that said, let's review Chris Rock's "How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police":

Step 1: Obey The Law
Step 2: Use Common Sense
Step 3: Stop Immediately
Step 4: Turn That Shit Off
Step 5: Be Polite
Step 6: Shut The Fuck Up

So simple, yet so effective.

Roll tape.







Hmmm, seems like there was a massive failure to follow ANY of the steps here.

Listen, kids. When dealing with an officer of the law, you are wrong. Period. C'est la Vie. Don't try to argue with him, and for God's sake don't get in his fucking grill. Just say "yes sir" and "no sir" until he leaves you alone, or realizes that you are lying and arrests you. The sooner you internalize this, the happier and less-angst ridden you will be.

Don't be fooled by the pseudo-intellectuals who think that...

As long as anyone is placed in a position of power over others, abuses like this will continue to be the norm. The problem isn't "one bad cop," or even the police system in general - this is a result of hierarchy itself. Such violence is inherent to any hierarchical system, whether it's the police, racism, government, an abusive husband, or the bosses at our workplaces. As long as such positions of authority continue to exist, they will continue to be exploited, and real democracy and equality will remain no more than a mythology that these authorities assure us is true.

Yes, unfortunately, there really are assclowns who still believe this dribble. And yes, this person was actually willing to put his intellectual retardation on public display by posting it to a Chron.com blog. Other than pubescent sentiment, I've never been able to pinpoint what exactly causes this sort of irrational phobia of authority, but you would think that people would have to outgrow it at some point if they want to function in civil society.

Newsflash to people like this: your revolution is over; the bums will always lose.

Step 1: Obey The Law
Step 2: Use Common Sense
Step 3: Stop Immediately
Step 4: Turn That Shit Off
Step 5: Be Polite
Step 6: Shut The Fuck Up

It's easy as pie.