Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Me and my Murse

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The man bag.
Perhaps the most made fun of, as well as misundertood bags to grace the planet. Only the tea-bag may be looked down upon by more. I purchased a man bag this week, with many misgivings about what exactly I was about to undertake. After a full 5 days with this piece, I already feel ready to make a full analysis of what I now deem as the ultimate in functional fashion. Allow me to deliniate the benefits of my new found friend.

1. You can put shit in it. Shit that you cant put in your pocket, but you want to have it on you (ie: book, magazine, umbrella). Where does this shit go? Murse.

2. Women will notice you more because of your man bag. They say to themselves: "Boy, this guy really has it together. Imagine the self confidence he has, being able to carry around a thing that most men would find to be a burden and a slight of their manhood." They might also say,"Imagine all of my shit that he could carry in that man bag."

3. The aforementioned women will give you their phone number, but where to put it? MURSE. They have no paper to write their number on, or no pen with which to write it. USE THE PEN AND THE PAPER THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR MURSE.

4. Some dude who has no confidence in his masculinity makes fun of your man bag. First you can point out that it is a MAN bag, and then you can hit him with it. This hit may prove to be even more effective if you have bricks or some other hard objects. WHICH YOU COULD ONLY CARRY IN A MAN BAG!!

So in my final defense of the oft maligned and rarely appreciated sac d'homme, allow me to say this: "Do not judge a man unless you have walked a mile carrying his heavy man-sack on your shoulder." Don't rag on my bag, fag.


At 10:29 PM, April 27, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

I just thought of the greatest acronym in the shower:


Actually I'm just jealous that I can't pull it off. I've been overly self-conscious since 4th grade when the big, mean 6th graders called my fanny pack a fag bag. So sad.

At 3:40 AM, April 28, 2005, Anonymous Bass said...

That hand on your murse is disgusting, lotion should be added to your list of carriable items replacing the facade or reasons 2 and 3, that is feminine approval. Its obvious you will be badgering the witness hourly and those frankenstein hands would be harmful to your anatomy.

At 5:05 AM, April 28, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

Oh man, how could I fail to notice that. It looks like those hands would throttle a puppy with both pleasure and ease.

At 8:40 AM, April 28, 2005, Blogger Richard said...

Is it the Dave Matthews Murse? Please don't wear it up around your nipples. That's effeminacy cubed.

At 2:24 PM, April 28, 2005, Anonymous frankie said...

a man-purse is still a lady's handbag by any other name


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