Small child saves the world

Well, not really. But he did bail out Warner Brothers.

Here's the deal. I think it's safe to say I've seen my fair share of Looney Tunes. Between "The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show" on Saturday mornings, "Bugs Bunny" on TNT back in the day when they used to show it EVERY DAY after school, the "Acme Hour" on late-nights in junior high (maybe high school, I don't remember if it ran that long...), and now, when I get a chance to catch it, Boomerang, I have racked up some pretty decent LT stats in my day. (...credibility rising, ROOOOWWWRRR...) Still, as much as I love watching those cartoons, I gotta keep it real: the glory days are in the past. People love classic cartoons because they're just that: classic. Nothing will ever eclipse the original greatness. Therefore, I'm not really that bothered by Warner Brothers trying something new.

Now, that said, there are certain stylistic standards that must be met and, quite frankly, this does not cut it:



That's what they had originally planned to roll out. It seems Warner fell to pandering to the masses, using the "anime-raped-over-a-thousand-times-by-Americans" look that is all too common these days on cartoon programming (res Cartoon Network). I admit, when I first saw it, I was a little disturbed. The Looneys can't look menacing! Come on now. Take the Road Runner for example. He looks like he would slit my throat with his wings. Looney Tunes can and must be mischievous, but it's comic mischief, not "WE MUST BREAK YOU" mischief, a la Ivan Drago.

Turns out, some kid from the Midwest was pretty upset, so he created an online petition website against the LT makeover. I think it has something like 100k signatures so far. Not too bad for a little guy. Even more impressive is that Warner took heed, and cites him as a reason they are going back to the drawing board. Way to go, kid. Now go brush your teeth.

Now, Warner, this is for you: hire some real artists and creative writers and let's do this. No half-assing. Make little bracelets for your staff that say "WWCJD?" or "WWTAD?" or even "WWFFD?" Include at least one instance of self-reflexivity in every episode. One barrel of gunpowder. Satire. More satire. I want to be able to check these things off like they were on one of Joe Bob Briggs' lists.

Th'th'th'th'th'that's all, folks.