As for the rest of the weekend....

First of all, let's go ahead and get this out of the way: Cowboys rule, Texans drool.

And that's all that deserves to be said about opening weekend of the NFSMELL.

Moving on...

I didn't think it was possible to spontaneously orgasm over 300 times in one day, but that was indeed the case on Saturday. After about the tenth one, I quit changing my underwear. This was possibly the best single week in September in recent memory. So much good stuff to watch, I don't know where to start. Highlights in semi-chronological order I guess.

Congratulations, Ohio. You had your shot in the spotlight, and you danced like you've never danced before.

I admit, I teared up heavily during ABC's opening montage for the Notre Dame-Michigan game. How could you not? A well produced intro montage for a sporting event is probably one of the few things I could watch on repeat for the rest of my life. Besides Back to the Future. Anyway my thoughts on the game are as such: either Michigan was vastly overrated, or Notre Dame is the real deal. The Irish went into the Big House and better than held their own the entire game. The final score betrays the dominance they displayed over the the Wolvies. I think I'm officially on the Weis bandwagon. (And that whole first time the Irish have won 2 away games in a row since Knute stat is interesting and all, but it got beat into the ground really fast.)

Marshall, Marshall, Marshall... The end of the Marshall/K-State game was about as jaw-dropper as they come. I think Mark Snyder made what will become the absolute worst call of the 2005 college football season. Shit, it'll probably be the worst call of any high school season. I was so stunned when I saw it, that I orgasmed. Twice.

Tulsa-OU. Further proof that October 8 is going to be a gang rape. I can't wait to see Bomar get crushed. P.S. Fuck you, Peterson. If you weren't such a traitor, you could be winning badass games with us, instead of getting killed in championship games and then sucking even worse the very next season.

Iowa-ISU. The Big Ten continued its trend of top ten teams losing (3 in one day?!?). Iowa State COMPLETELY demolished the Hawkeyes, although you'd never know by checking today's polls. Seriously, I swear they have a room full of chimps somewhere, taking breaks from finger painting to pick names out of a hat for the rankings. They are utter garbage.

Georgia-USC. Why I love the SEC. And I can't tell you how happy I am that Spurrier is back in his element.

LSU-ASU. Wow. If I wasn't biased unto death I'd say this game might have been better than ours. JaMarcus Russell is simply outstanding. Talk about poise of poise to orchestrate a fourth quarter like that on the road, after what had been up to that point a shaky game. This game also proves to us (yet again) the profound importance of special teams. I love special teams. They're so... special.

And finally, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Trojans, after witnessing Arkansas lose at home to the Commies, are going to march into Fayetteville next week like they own the place. I have another sneaking suspicion (or it could be that guiso and bean burrito I just ate) that the Hogs will have a little something up their sleeve. Texas = undisputed #1 as of September 19th? To quote the timeless Dr. Seuss in his magnum opus, the Butter Battle Book: "We shall see, we shall see..."