Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Who needs a woman? Me... maybe?

That man feels a natural affinity toward the fairer sex is a given. In light of the recent termination of Frankie's engagement, I feel the need to explore the nature of our committed relationships a bit further.

I've never believed in romantic "love." It definitely has its place and time, but I think that too often it is confused as being the end-all, rather than the means that it actually is. The sweaty palms, flittering stomach, head-spinning, and overwhelming abandon associated with eros is not meant to be ceaseless. Rather, those wonderful feelings serve simply and beautifully as a gateway to agape: a deeper, more involved and more labor intensive love - one in which giving becomes absolutely more important than taking.

Why then, does man feel the need to commit himself to one woman for the rest of his life? What's in it for him?

In a word: companionship.

The bonds of brotherhood are strong. Of this fact, there is no doubt. Still, is there anything more consoling in this life than a woman's shoulder on which to lay your head? Is there a more satisfying moment of the day than the one in which you divulge your mundanities to the only person in the world who cares enough to listen? What could make a man so strong, as a woman by his side, offering her undying support and building his confidence as only she can? What greater intimacy can man feel with another human being than that experienced in the conjugal act, when two are joined perectly, and as one?

Companionship, my friends.

It could possibly be one of the worst move lines ever, but ol' Jerry had it right: "You complete me."

These words ring true. It should be no secret to any rational human being that male and female are created as complementary - physically, psychologically, and emotionally. Indeed, to accept this truism and convert it to an act of commitment and pure love between two people is nothing short of fully embracing the Divine Plan and becoming an image of God's undying love - one of the reasons marriage is elevated to the level of Sacrament.

I'm not sure which direction to go, so I think I'll cut it off there for now. Expect more in the series later.


Now, since you've all had Giz's take on the 2001 Big XII debacle, make sure you check out that of the Burnt Orange Nation.


At 10:19 AM, November 29, 2005, Anonymous frankiefirefox said...

Well said. I think you have again hit the nail on the head. I believe that complete familiarity and need for companionship is what love becomes after that fluttery stomach, sweaty palms crap is gone. That isn't love: it's nervousness and lust.
Just recently, I have learned that no two people can be perfectly joined as one. This is because life is long and no one's personality is static. People change over the years, that is why there is divorce. What defines true love is the ability to accept those changes and still continue on in a functional, happy relationship.
Good luck finding love you beautiful idealists. I'm seriously contemplating suicide by Canadian whiskey.

At 12:08 PM, November 29, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

At least wait until I get there before you do you hit the whiskey in deadly proportion. I'm going to fall into the ice hole.

People do change over the years, but I don't think that necessarily leads to divorce. It depends on how seriously you take your vow. "In good times and in bad" doesn't preclude the possibility that most of the times may indeed be bad.

That said, to "fall out of love" with someone is an obvious contradiction of terms, and to use it as an excuse for dissolution of a marriage is a cop-out. For love is not only patient, but it "endures all things." If you love someone enough to make a vow before God to remain with them forever, a personality change isn't justifiable grounds for calling it quits.

So I agree with you: "What defines true love is the ability to accept those changes and still continue on in a functional, happy relationship." I would also agree that "no two people can be perfectly joined as one." I would be quick to follow that, however, with a little something I remember from seventh grade Catechism: three people form a healthy marriage - husband, wife, and Holy Spirit.

At 12:16 PM, November 29, 2005, Anonymous frankiefirefox said...

I couldn't agree with you more.

At 2:24 PM, November 29, 2005, Blogger mrshife said...

Good post, Vince. Mrs. Shife is indeed many things to me but most importantly she is my best friend.

At 10:24 PM, November 29, 2005, Blogger coloradohurricane said...

Sometimes I miss not being in a relationship (although I alternate between serious relationships and times where I lose interest in love.)

It's definitely companionship which keeps the relationship going.

What makes a good man great is having a great woman.

At 1:50 PM, November 30, 2005, Blogger Shannon D. Jones said...

Great post Vince. :)


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