Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Homosexuality becomes me

Last night I started taking defensive driving online. It's probably one of the more worthless experiences of my life. Actually, there was a pretty good 15 minute movie about trains, and how deadly they are, but I think the main reason I liked it is because the guy doing all the talking looked like my dad, ca. 1986. Apparently Texas state law mandates that any defensive driving course be no less than 6 hours in length, so each page is on a timer to regulate how fast you can zip through it. Pretty AIDS, I know. I only made it through about three hours before I started going batty.

I had just finished Lesson 4: Driving in Adverse Conditions when I realized an auction I was watching on Ebay was ending in no more than 2 minutes. Hurry, Ctrl+T, new tab, new tab!!! Well, the lame-ass defensive driving website didn't like that too much, and ended up freezing Firefox. This is the only feasible explanation I can come up, other than "God hates me." Needless to say, by the time I task managered to close Firefox, got it up and running again, and navigated to the My Ebay page, the auction was over. Son of a bitch. Not only was it something I really wanted, the price was a steal.

Anyway, the moral of the story: fuck you, Texas DPS, and your uncalibrated, lying, piece of shit radar guns.

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Hey, check this out. It's from this past weekend's game. The kid's name is Tyrone Prothro. Poor guy. You probably should quit scrolling down now if you have a weak stomach.
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Ouch.

8 Comments:

At 8:57 AM, October 12, 2005, Anonymous Cody said...

Maybe you should think about those Star Wars models next time you think of speeding... or coat your car in a radar deflecting material developed by Skunk Works. Oh, and the picture - Damn I feel bad for that guy. Stuff like that gives me the willies

 
At 9:23 AM, October 12, 2005, Blogger mrshife said...

So you have to take defensive driving courses if you get caught speeding in Texas? Do you also have to pay the ticket? Or do you get out of the ticket if you take the course? Just curious. Our only option in Idaho is to pay the ticket in Idaho

Talk about having two left feet. That is nasty!

 
At 10:32 AM, October 12, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

But that's the thing, I really wasn't speeding! The whole situation was fishy.

If you take defensive driving, you still have to pay a part of the fine, but your ticket gets dismissed and your driving record goes back clean. As the judge during the video at the beginning of the course told me, most condescendingly, "It is a priiiiiiiveledge to be able to take this course." Yeah, yeah, spare me.

 
At 12:45 PM, October 12, 2005, Anonymous Dellach said...

Also you can't take defensive driving twice in 12 months. If you get caught speeding twice in a year, you gotta pay that second ticket. I learned that the hard way.

Toon, 2 words: racial profiling. Though I'm not sure what race you are.

 
At 2:06 PM, October 12, 2005, Anonymous frankiefirefox said...

I have taken defensive driving in various forms (on-line, class, and video) and they all suck. The best way is to beg a cherished love one to do it for you. That damn DPS was always after my ass.

 
At 6:50 PM, October 12, 2005, Blogger coloradohurricane said...

Speaking of trains and how deadly they are, did you hear about the girl in Colorado who was w/ her boyfriend and her car broke down on a railroad track.

A train was coming and she's trying to get it started and the inevitable happened.

So she was injured for life. Her and her family sued... and won $3 million. When asked what they were going to do next, they said go on a trip to Europe.

Where do they find these juries ?

 
At 5:58 PM, October 13, 2005, Anonymous bass said...

I had ALF do my defensivedriving for a paddle sig. It was everything i thought it could be.

 
At 2:26 PM, October 15, 2005, Blogger the duck said...

Holy crap, that picture looks photoshopped it's such a bad break. That's up there with the Joe Theismann (sp?) leg break. Wow

 

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