Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Another jumble of crap you probably don't care about: Wednesday Edition

We have been vindicated.

I am using my self-appointed authority to command you all to join the facebook. Especially you guys who sit in class or at work all day and do not nothing but surf around. Which is pretty much all of you. Why haven't you joined a year ago?? Do it now! And then add me as a friend. I need a public record of my social aptitude to feel good about myself.

Non-sequitur link, Part 1: my first real contribution to the fraternity as an alumnus will be in the form of the UBERTAP. A little bit of pee comes out every time I look at it.


There's a chick that rides the bus at the same time I do that I recently had to ugliminate. She had potential there for awhile, but she wore hose one day, and she was off the list.

This raises an interesting point. Some hose is okay. I've actually seen a couple chicks that pulled off looking good in black hose or something really sheer. It's a rarity, to be sure, but definitely observable in the wild. Far more prevalent is the decent looking middle aged woman who fails the tail end of a top-down check. This is always a disappointment.

You know the story: she looks good, looks good, looks good, OH MY LORD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING ON YOUR LEGS?!? Those fucking hideous, opaque, vomit beige colored things... they send shivers down my spine. I'd rather look at your pasty whites than have my penis shrivel up and die the moment I spot your legs looking like elongated potatoes. You can't help but keep checking her out, but you do it with that cringed look on your face. You know, the same one you have while you watch Faces of Death or something like that. It hurts to watch, but you just can't turn away.

Equally awful, but probably more laughable than anything else, are capri pants. They're pretty self-explanatory, but I venture to say that if I ever caught a chick under the age of 25 wearing them, she would be ugliminated in a heartbeat.

And that's enough women's fashion talk for one year.

Non-sequitur link, Part 2: this one's for you, Richard.

On to more important things, like sports. After Roy-O wins tonight's game, he HAS to be considered the MVP of the series. He often gets buried under the weight of the "Clemens" and "Pettitte" names, but the claim that he is the strongest of the three at this point in time is almost indisputable. The worst part about him closing out this series is that the rotation for the World Series will be all kinds of fucked up, but what can you do?

I rubbed my (not-so crystal) balls this morning, and the magic numbers are as follows: tonight, a 3-2 win for the Astros. Saturday, a 48-45 win for the Horns. Which reminds me, I NEED A TICKET FOR THE GAME. Someone do me a favor and haze a pledge into finding me one, student section always preferred. Please?

Non-sequitur link, Part Last: this one's really funny.

Did you sign up for the facebook yet??

Good gravy, I need to get to work.

8 Comments:

At 11:28 AM, October 19, 2005, Blogger Princess Grace said...

As a woman who sells hosiery, and other parts of a woman's intimate appareal for a living, I feel compelled to comment on your fashion critique. Number one, the rarity of a woman wearing hosiery and looking sexy is not as rare as you may think. The problem is that you are riding the bus and are meeting cheap ass people who won't pay for gas let alone a nice pair of panty hose ($10 to $20). She is probably buying the same "leggs" brand that my 84 year old grandmother buys in wal-mart (4 for $9.99). They are the exact same color as a paper bag. On to the capri comment. Now you have told me several times that capris are unnacceptable on girls, and I have carried this comment to men and women of all different age groups and they all seem to disagree. Now maybe this is a philosophy of your region. I say this because some capris that assentuate your ass exactly right, some cute heels and a killer shirt is definitly a way to hit the bars in the Big D. Now I will give you that more often than not, capris achieve the "awww she's cute" look rather than the "Daaaaamn" look, but don't be a hater. Capris have their place in this world and I sport mine proudly.

 
At 4:16 PM, October 19, 2005, Blogger mrshife said...

So one of us is going to be happier than the other tomorrow? In other news, the Texas Tech and Texas should be a beauty. Those pledges have more important things to do than go to a game, and you are alumni so that means you rule and they suck.

 
At 7:03 PM, October 19, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

I love pledges.

 
At 8:31 PM, October 19, 2005, Anonymous bass said...

that tap is fuckin amazing
capri make girls look pear shaped
and for the non-sequitor comment #1 Chris "inanimate bag of potatoes" Simms is going to start for Tampa Bay their next game Hookem!

 
At 11:19 PM, October 19, 2005, Blogger coloradohurricane said...

let me be the first to congratulate you in your blog on the astros going to the world series.

 
At 11:33 PM, October 19, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

thanks CH, time to celebrate!

 
At 12:10 AM, October 20, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

oh yeah, bass and everyone else, do you remember that flash cartoon of simms in an x-wing approaching the superdome death star? the bucs put it on their site last year the week before he had his first ever start. i've been digging like crazy for that thing but can't find it anywhere. it was fucking amazing. if someone can find it, let me know. i would love to see it again.

 
At 7:34 AM, October 20, 2005, Blogger Vince said...

ONE last thing...

what did i say? oswalt = mvp

 

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