Another jumble of crap you probably don't care about: Wednesday Edition

We have been vindicated.

I am using my self-appointed authority to command you all to join the facebook. Especially you guys who sit in class or at work all day and do not nothing but surf around. Which is pretty much all of you. Why haven't you joined a year ago?? Do it now! And then add me as a friend. I need a public record of my social aptitude to feel good about myself.

Non-sequitur link, Part 1: my first real contribution to the fraternity as an alumnus will be in the form of the UBERTAP. A little bit of pee comes out every time I look at it.


There's a chick that rides the bus at the same time I do that I recently had to ugliminate. She had potential there for awhile, but she wore hose one day, and she was off the list.

This raises an interesting point. Some hose is okay. I've actually seen a couple chicks that pulled off looking good in black hose or something really sheer. It's a rarity, to be sure, but definitely observable in the wild. Far more prevalent is the decent looking middle aged woman who fails the tail end of a top-down check. This is always a disappointment.

You know the story: she looks good, looks good, looks good, OH MY LORD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING ON YOUR LEGS?!? Those fucking hideous, opaque, vomit beige colored things... they send shivers down my spine. I'd rather look at your pasty whites than have my penis shrivel up and die the moment I spot your legs looking like elongated potatoes. You can't help but keep checking her out, but you do it with that cringed look on your face. You know, the same one you have while you watch Faces of Death or something like that. It hurts to watch, but you just can't turn away.

Equally awful, but probably more laughable than anything else, are capri pants. They're pretty self-explanatory, but I venture to say that if I ever caught a chick under the age of 25 wearing them, she would be ugliminated in a heartbeat.

And that's enough women's fashion talk for one year.

Non-sequitur link, Part 2: this one's for you, Richard.

On to more important things, like sports. After Roy-O wins tonight's game, he HAS to be considered the MVP of the series. He often gets buried under the weight of the "Clemens" and "Pettitte" names, but the claim that he is the strongest of the three at this point in time is almost indisputable. The worst part about him closing out this series is that the rotation for the World Series will be all kinds of fucked up, but what can you do?

I rubbed my (not-so crystal) balls this morning, and the magic numbers are as follows: tonight, a 3-2 win for the Astros. Saturday, a 48-45 win for the Horns. Which reminds me, I NEED A TICKET FOR THE GAME. Someone do me a favor and haze a pledge into finding me one, student section always preferred. Please?

Non-sequitur link, Part Last: this one's really funny.

Did you sign up for the facebook yet??

Good gravy, I need to get to work.